Suzanne decided, after far too many dates where she considered crawling out a bathroom window to get away, to try speed dating.
It don’t go so well at first. Suzanne forgot to leave time to get ready so she threw on a tight dress and forgot to put on deodorant. When the first person sat down Suzanne wanted to get everything on the table so she started talking immediately about the mistakes her Boston-native ex made, that she wanted to have children and get married immediately, and that her time was running out. The man across from her was good looking and nodding so she immediately felt she needed to scoop him up before someone else did and asked him to come home with her after the speed dating was over.
As the man got up to leave Suzanne realized he probably wanted to crawl out the bathroom window to get away from her. Here are 6 mistakes that Suzanne should have avoided. Six mistakes that you can avoid when trying speed dating in Boston or any city that offers it. It’s more and more likely, that’s somewhere near where you live.
Dress Appropriately. Give yourself enough time to get dressed, shower and primp yourself. Make sure that you dress attractively but do not show everything off the first date. You want to leave the person wanting more and when you leave everything hanging out, they don't have to wait to see it.
Introduce Yourself. Take the time to introduce yourself, look the other person in the eye and allow them to introduce themselves. Some people can feel an immediate attraction, but still may be a little ill at ease. When both people speak, it breaks a small barrier to communication. It can be subtle, but it’s there.
No Monologues. Do not try to cram everything about yourself in without hearing about the other person. Give them time to talk. If it helps, think of something about yourself and ask them if they share that interest . In short, have a conversation where you both learn about why you might want to take the next step from speed date to slow, leisurely date.
Stay in the Now. Don't lay all the cards on the table. It is okay to express what you want in the future but don't make the other person feel like they have to marry you right away or you won’t be happy. Give them room to breathe and learn more about you if they are interested.
Past Relationships. You can learn from your exes and past mistakes but future dates should not have to. Any relationship is complex, but this is such a basic rule, that it becomes a cautionary tale for the other person to tell – often – rather than developing any further. Complexity can come later when he or she know any further understanding of you helps strengthen what’s happening between you. Leave old relationships at the door and look forward to new ones.
Mystery. As the date ends, shake their hand and say it was nice meeting them. It is okay to leave them wondering if you were interested. It leaves flirtation in the air and you will find out soon enough if there was a connection or the signals you thought you were receiving short-circuited somewhere.
Speed dating in Boston is becoming more and more popular as people realize they do not want to sit on a two-hour date that seems like six hours. Especially when they know they have no interest after three minutes. Why waste your time, when you could spend more of it free of awkwardness.